Part Two of our Pratt Profs: Hot or Not! We want to narrow down the nominees to see who will be THE hottest at Pratt!
Happy Valentine’s Day from The Prattler, now you can choose your valentine by major ;)
By: Allison Van Siclen
One of the first things I noticed as a freshman was that most of my on-campus between-class errands involved going into offices with baskets of condoms and lube. At first, I was too afraid to grab a handful of supplies because I thought everyone would look at me and know what I was going to do with them. But I got over this fear because, well…yeah, everyone knows what you do with condoms (besides making massive water balloons and stress balls) but if anyone judges you for it, then why are they at art school?
I realized fairly quickly that some of the condoms that Pratt offers are safer than others (by that I mean that there is a brand that breaks every time). Some also have different qualities (some have cool textures). The following is a list of the worst to best condoms (in my opinion) and what they provide in terms of experience for you and your boyfriend, girlfriend, friend-with-benefits, one-night stand, big mistake, happy accident, or that person you met in the elevator a few minutes ago.
First: Where To Find Condoms on Campus:
Willoughby: The Health Center, the basket outside of the RA office, the Residential Life office, and your RAs probably have a few “just in cases” in their rooms.
Main Building: Office of Student Activities
All The Other Dorms: Just find your RA or go to the main office, they have the materials you need to take an excellent and safe study break.
Condoms at Pratt:
NYC condoms: NYC condoms are apart of the Lifestyles brand. They first appeared in 2007 on Valentine’s Day and were funded by NYC’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene program. Once, they were the most commonly found condom at Pratt, but because of a very important flaw in their design, I think it’s been mostly ripped from Pratt’s free condom bowls.
These condoms are so risky that I won’t even compare it to the other brands. Why?Because they rip. From friend’s outcries and my own experience with these little monsters, these are not safe condoms to use if you don’t want your own little monsters. But if you want a huge surprise when you’re finished with your condom, this is the one for you!
Beyond Seven- If you don’t need your condom to have much breathing room, this Japanese condom is for you! This condom is incredibly form-fitting, meaning that it’s thin, but also fairly narrow and short. The receiver normally has no complaints, but the givers I’ve talked to have often complained about it cutting off circulation. This condom is very discreet in that the smell isn’t too bad and isn’t overly lubricated, but if you or your partner like to both enjoy the activity, it’s not the greatest choice.
Durex- an old classic, but comes in many forms.
Purple: Your basic, every-day condom. There are problems with it sliding around (and off) and again with losing circulation, but if you can handle the basic point of a condom, which is protection, it does what it needs to.
Red: These mean that they have ribs and, if that’s what you’re into, go for it. However, if you are a sensitive lady (or dude, depending on who you are and what you do) they can be a little too much in terms of friction.
Orange: A personal favorite of mine because of the little bumps they have on them, I’ve found that these have the smallest chance of slipping or breaking while being fun for both (or any) person involved.
Black: These are supposed to be extra-large, but they’re basically lying when they say that it will handle a bigger job. If a condom comes in the same-sized packet as most other condoms, then it’s most likely an average rubber.
Trojan- No matter what style, flavor, or size, I’ve never had problems with Trojans. The company also strives to make their condoms as unnoticeable as possible, so it’s the best condom for everyone involved. Plus, when a Trojan condom says that it’s a Magnum, it’s telling the truth.
Female Condoms- What? Seriously. What? I’ve never used this…contraption…but I’ve opened it with a friend before and stuck it over my fist. The package warns against the squeaky sound that it produces during intercourse, but also says to not fear the squeak. On my hand, it felt like sliding on a mayonnaise-covered sandwich bag. I don’t know if anyone is into that, but if you are, more power to you.
As for lube?
Lifestyles Lube- These rectangular packets that are fine if you need a Niagara Falls amount of lube. If you only need a little help, you’ll have to use half the packet and then let the rest of it lubricate your windowsill or floor, wherever you throw the thing when you’re done applying its contents.
Slippery Stuff- Comes in these cute little plastic containers. It’s the perfect texture and amount, but it’s a bitch to open it, especially when you’re, you know, impatient. The best thing to do is to twist the top off with your teeth, which kind of hurts, but stop complaining. You’ll forget about the annoyance of getting to its content when you’re appreciating the content’s use.
We all know that condoms suck. I don’t need to describe how much sensation is lost, or the weird textures and smells of latex, or the awkward aftermath of knowing it will lay around in your trash can until you have a moment to head down to the dumpster. But if you want to be disease-free and not pregnant, there are better options that others. You just have to find a glove that you like, as well as one that fits.
Categorized as “postcard-perfect indie folk with an undercurrent of sly humor” (Time Out New York), Swear and Shake returned to Pratt Radio with their “folksy foot-stomping rock” (New York Times) on February 11th with a live performance on The Rodent Hour.
Swear and Shake has performed alongside bands such as The Lumineers and Delta Rae and participated in music festivals like Governor’s Ball, held in New York City, and Shaky Knees, held in Atlanta, Georgia. They released their first full-length album Maple Ridge in the summer of 2012. In late 2013 they released the song “Brother,” which will be featured in their upcoming new album.
By Lauren Roeder
With the end-of-year holidays approaching, many look forward to, or perhaps dread, spending large amounts of time with large amounts of family. Either way, it’s usually inevitable.
For most, family gatherings become nostalgic…holidays remind us that it’s time to forget anything else and really spend time with the ones you love.
You start looking forward to the things you never knew you were going to miss—the things you could always count on, like grandma taking her teeth out and scaring all of the little kids around, or your cousin fighting to the death with you for a certain cupcake (when there were plenty more identical ones just a few inches over…no…he needed that one!)
Kooky and quirky traditions, no matter how trivial, routine, aggravating, exhaustive, or down right silly, are often the things we most remember. They’re the moments we secretly count down the days until, not only because it means a vacation, but because it’s moments you get to spend together.
So embrace your inner corny; here’s wishing you all continued odd-filled holiday festivities with your friends and family, and enjoy some members of the Pratt community sharing their offbeat traditions!
“My family listens to this one Reggae Christmas CD from the early 90’s that’s just horribly bad, but my parents really enjoy it.”
“I don’t know if this counts as a tradition, but I got my hand stuck in a blender once and my father refused to take me to a hospital. So for the past few years everyone in my family sends me blenders for the holidays.”
“On Groundhog Day, we all watch Groundhog Day about four times in a row…or maybe it just feels like that?”
“Ice cream and fresh homemade waffles for breakfast on Christmas morning!”
“We never really did the whole turkey thing on Thanksgiving—my family would all go over my aunt’s and we’d order pizza and play poker and board games all night…and my dad ends up fighting with my uncle..”
“Two Christmas Eves in a row, wild bees swarmed and built a hive in our bathroom ceiling. I’m not sure if you’d call that a tradition, though.”
-Registrar at Pratt
“Every year, on Halloween, my dad has to make the same two jokes: ”Gee, that’s a scary mask, you should take it off, you’re gonna scare the kids” (to someone, and anyone, who isn’t wearing a mask), and “Just let me try that piece of candy before you have any, because it could be poison”.
"Delivered Lunch" Silkscreen on American Cheese
Awesome Pratt student art